E tales

E is doing better with A than I expected. He whines a bit when I nurse her and sometimes claims, "I have to nurse myself!" - meaning he wants me to get up from the glider and let him sit there. But no physical violence yet.

His most common refrain regarding the baby is "I don't like the way she's looking at me." Strange since the baby's eyes are usually closed when he says that.

Mike and I have been dividing and conquering when it comes to child care. I usually have the baby, and Mike often takes Evan. One new development in E's play routine is pushing his cars along this road mat that we bought. On it there's a fast food joint, at which E often orders 'snaucy barrages.' Apparently they are made from shampoo and cost 30 cents each.

Mike is also trying to start a routine where he does a page of a preschool workbook a day. A few days ago Mike was trying to get E to color the apples with the letter d in them - a difficult task with E constantly getting off his chair and running away. When Mike finally got him to finish, his commentary to me was, "I know he's young, but a scholar he AIN'T." So true. His preschool teacher agrees. She told me he was 'resistant to learning.'

baby's almost here

I'm dilated to a 4.5 (at least) and the doctor said on Thursday that she doesn't know how the baby is still in there. Although my due date isn't until the 27th, I think I'll go into labor soon, but maybe that's just wishful thinking - after all, E was a week overdue.

Mike is convinced the baby's coming any hour now. He was reluctant to take E to L.A. today to play with his cousins. I, however, was encouraging him to go.

Me: Mike, I feel great. Never better. I'm sure I'll be fine. You go take E to L.A.

Mike: You're already a 4.5. You could go really fast. I might miss the birth if you go into labor and I'm in L.A.

Me: I am willing to risk you missing the birth of our child for a free 6 hours. Please, please take him away.

Turns out the cousins got into an accident on the way to L.A., so Mike didn't end up going. But I still got my free afternoon and evening- Mike took E over so I could get stuff done. I'm in an organizing craze right now. Nesting, Mike calls it.

Obnoxious Political Forwards on Church Lists

Tonight I received a political forward on a ward playgroup list. It was about contacting our senators to complain about Obama's health care reform package since it would cover reproductive health, including abortions.

Needless to say, I was irritated. After the hell we all went through with Prop 8, do we really need more politics infesting our Church lives and email lists? Did Prop 8 throw open the door so that people feel free to politick in Church forums? And above all, where is the sensitivity to the possibility that there are thoughtful, responsible people on the list who come down on different sides of the issue?

So what is a compassionate but firm response to this situation?

-A reply to the whole list asking that political forwards not be sent? Tempting, because it might discourage others who are inspired by this new use of the playgroup list to send out their own political forwards. But I don't want to be cruel and publicly embarrass the sender.

- A private email explaining that the recipients of emails like this are bound to feel differently about the issue, and that it's not a proper use of the list?

-An email to our RS president asking that she crack down on improper uses of interest group email lists?

I decided to go with the second option. Below is what I replied. (I actually was trying to be nice, while clearly stating my concerns. Perhaps the only place I went overboard are with the value laden words 'invasive' and 'upsetting' - but, well, I did find it invasive and upsetting.)

Any suggestions about kind but firm ways to respond the next time this happens?

Dear XXXXX,

I understand that you are probably assuming that all the people on this list are sympathetic to your political beliefs. Please do be aware, however, that there are a number of us who have great hopes for health care reform in this country, as well as a healthy respect for the agency of others in choices that involve their health and their bodies.

Please, please do not send any more political emails. I find it invasive and upsetting when a list that should be about moms getting together is turned into site for politicking.

Respectfully,

Caroline

_______________________

(*note* - I don't even know if the sender is a member of our congregation, seeing as I don't recognize the name.)

Mike Gets Tenure!

Great news. Finally, finally, we hear that Mike has received tenure. We're now in Irvine, in this house, for the rest of our lives (probably). We're dang lucky. Way to go, Mike!

To celebrate, we're watching Burn Notice (Mike's favorite show) and eating homemade salsa.

Mike was also wanting to make guac - here's a condensed version of the conversation we had when I got back from the store. I'm not capturing the humor here, but it was actually pretty funny.

Mike (disappointed): Umm, Care, you really don't know how to pick avocados, do you?

Caroline: Why, are they bad?

Mike: Well, they need to be riper and softer and the skin looks a little different.

Caroline: Oh, sorry. I don't know what I'm doing since I don't eat guac.

(A few minutes later)

Mike: Oh, I found the avocados you bought. Great!

Caroline (laughing): Mike did you think the mangoes on the counter were unripe avocados?

Mike: No, but I thought that you thought that the mangoes were avocados, and I didn't want to make you feel stupid, so I didn't say anything.

Mike's a sweetheart for trying to protect me from my own (supposed) ignorance. :)

Adventures in Potty Training

Some highlights of the last five days:

• E doing pretty well the first day. Accidents half the time, successes half the time.
• Things beginning to unravel on day two.
• A hellacious third day, with E constantly lying and saying "no, I don't have to pee" and then peeing on the floor five minutes later.
• A partially hellacious fourth day, with Mike and me terrified of E peeing all over the church. Mike has an intensely nervous experience with E in the foyer during Sacrament meeting, seeing as he had recently drunk a juice box and hadn't peed in 2 hours. I take the first hour of nursery (E has accident) and Mike takes the second hour, in which E tackles six or seven other kids.
• A fantastic fifth day! Only one accident. Amazing. E turns out to be highly motivated by candy. 

Life Update

I've been a blog slacker. So here I am, with an update on my pregnancy and all sorts of other mundane information that no one should be interested in. 

I'm about 6 months pregnant now, and just got an ultrasound today. It looked bad initially. The placenta was almost completely blocking my cervix. That's a definite C-section. Then it looked like my cervix was too open. Hello, bed rest.  The technician decided to wait 15 minutes and do it again, and luckily things shifted (very strange). My placenta was still low, but not blocking. I attribute this change to gravity since they decided to put a huge pillow under my hips the second time around. My cervix also wasn't as open - apparently I had probably been having a contraction the first time. Very, very weird. I go back in another 4 weeks to see if things have improved.

Other than that, things are ok. Beast is terribly cute and charming, but a challenge. The things I have to do to get him to go to sleep - bribe him with marshmellows, threaten him, get him endless cups of water, fetch various cars from downstairs, cover him meticulously with his blanket, drug him with triaminic (I'm not proud of that), etc. 

I'm also exploring the world of discipline. I spanked him (once, lightly) the other day when he hit me. That was the first time, and he didn't handle it well. Started shrieking and sobbing, but then he just wanted to be cuddled. I think I hurt his feelings more than anything else. I also over the last month or two have flicked him on the hand once or twice as a punishment. Same reaction as to the spanking. Mike does not approve of these corporal punishment tactics. 

It's hard to know how to handle him. He doesn't take me seriously at all. When I say, 'No, E, that's not nice. That's bad!" He'll turn to me and say in a serious tone, "Bad mommy, that's not nice. You don't flick me! Bad mommy." And then I have to try to not laugh. 

As for other parts of life, school is great this semester, particularly since the Claremont Women's Conference is over. That was a huge stresser.  Apparently during my presentation I came off as "hard-edged" according to one man, though to Mike he used the more neutral word"forceful." Please, just because I don't lisp and speak in a primary voice... 

Valentines Day Well Being

Ok, so this wasn't Valentines Day, it was a few days later. But yesterday as we were driving home from Daphne's Greek Cafe, Mike said something very sweet. He told me that when I called him earlier that day, he felt a nice sense of well being that he had a wife who was going to come and pick him up and that we were going to go out to dinner, and just in general that he had a great life. (This feeling might have been sparked, he confessed, by his desire, at the moment I called him, to get away from students who were in his office and preventing him from getting work done.) Anyway, I thought it was sweet.

I told him that I had also had a well being epiphany that same day, but mine was sparked as I was at TJ Maxx buying Mexican pottery. I was so enjoying the acquisition of these cute dishes that I was thinking how awesome Mike is to make money and and that I get to go out and buy cool pottery with it.  What a great life.

 I know, not my greatest feminist moment.